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None Of It Matters

March 29, 2016

Last night I had a moment. Before saying my prayers, I read Psalm 32 and Psalm 37. I let my thoughts go as I began to talk to God. Before getting far, I cut myself short and listened to my breath. I listened to my thoughts and I contemplated if it was even worth bothering God about. That's when I began to cry. "God, none of it matters. It doesn't matter." I kept repeating to myself. "It doesn't matter because you are God." 

This piece was inspired by that place.


None of it matters. 
When I'm with you
None of my worries. 
None of my cares.
None of what is bothering me
Comes close to when I'm with you.
Nothing picks me up 
No one carries me over rivers
No person can come close
To what you do.
Not even these words.
But I'll try.
I'll try to express to you how 
You are.
How beautiful you make me feel.
How you remind me everyday that 
And it's really a light burden 
you cause me to bear.
Your shoulders are strong.
Your heart is immeasurable.
Your intentions are pure.
Your righteousness overpowers any of my concerns.
Is it obvious? I don't know how to express myself to you.
You see, how can I thank the God that created me? 
How can I show him that I am more than grateful?
Grateful that He 
Gave me more chances than I deserved
Because He loved me enough to say
I know you'll make it there.
Canaan bound in spirit.
God you opened me to a safety net of love
While ...
These words are not enough
And they never will be.
Because being with you is all I need.
What does it matter what troubles me
When you embrace so sweetly?
Nothing really matters when you're with me.
You are love.
You are patience.
"You're mine"
You constantly remind me.
God I am not worthy.
But you chose me.
And that's why it doesn't matter
Who hates
Who retaliates
Who discriminates
Because you hear me when I'm prostrate
And on my face
Crying out
God don't leave me.
Be with me.
I need you to hear 
where I am.
With me
In this desert sand
While I trek to the promised land.
Share my inheritance.
God you're so generous.
Forgive me for not being more like you.

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